Mom "did you notice I shaved dad?"
Nurse says "I think you look sexy"
Dad "you better quit making my wife jealous!"
Mom was talking about rubbing his feet and how she doesn't like feet
Dad "that's how I know she loves me - she was messing with my feet!"
Ally "you're Mac and cheese is da bomb"
Dad "oooh don't say the bomb. You'll get me in trouble for talking about bombs!"
Talking about dancing..."they all think I'm bad when I'm out there. Then afterwards they think I'm the man. Me...I think it depends on my intoxication level."
His one on one walks in and dad goes "no walking in this room. You must shuffle or dance."
His aide leaves and dad goes "he laughs but he got the hell outta here!" then his aide comes back and dad goes "you're still walking man!"
Getting his blood pressure done dad "is this my last time today?"
Nurse "no two more times today"
dad "what if I get better and get outta here? I've been dancing all day!"
"I have a suggestion for you guys. When you make me stand up and walk backwards like that I lose my perception."
Mom "Jim you're right about that."
Dad "wait a minute - I think I'm gonna have a heart attack!!!"
Talking about handshakes.. "I like a real firm handshake. Don't shake a guys hand who puts out that floppy sissy handshake. I'd break their fingers and slam them on the table."
Trying to get his secret stuffing ingredient "it's tender love and care. TLC"
Then saying "if you don't feel good when your cooking it's not as good! If you're feeling good that smell cracks you right in the face better."
Ally "Michael Vick stinks"
Dad "hey I sai it from the beginning - don't sign him"
Then went on talking about what a quarterback is supposed to do and slant plays and shotguns.
"i tried to be vicks fan and i cant. I wanted to keep cobb instead of him and there wasn't one person that didnt think I was crazy now look - I was right."
His roommate sneezed an dad goes "whoa! You made the whole room jump!"
Talking about arm wrestling his aide (which he remembered on his own - not the aides name but that he arm wrestled him) "I beat him and I'm a month outta shape. Imagine if I was healthy!"
Gave us tips about arm wrestling "keep your arm flush up. When they start pushing let them push. Don't push back just keep your arm strong. Then when they waste your energy pushing you just slam their knuckles down!"
He was taking about uncle George scared to arm wrestle him. Then they came to visit and I said "uncle George, dad was just talking about you being scared to arm wrestle him"
Dad - "don't tell him that! Now he's gonna walk in and crack me one!"
You talked a lot today about wanting to go home. And what you have to do to get out of rehab.
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